My response: Team Hellsing...
"He.... He sparkles. HE SPARKLES! DON'T YOU GET IT, WOLFMAN?! VAMPIRES ARE GOING GAY!!!!"
"...... I have a bunch of chains and a body bag at home. I know where there's a nice, deep lake. We can end this tonight."
"Thank you. I knew I can count on you."
he's a freaking fairy.